"I will praise the one who's chosen me, to carry you"
-Selah: I will carry you

Sunday, 12 January 2014

There's pain in the offering

Tears in church again today. We sang one of my favourite worship songs which really speaks to me. I sang with open arms and tears on my face and surrendered. Below are the abridged lyrics,  I encourage you to listen to the full track here

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

Matt Redman.

There is indeed pain in the offering. I do not understand it. I really don't. I suppose I am not meant to. It is so easy to love and praise God when "the world's all as it should be", but so much harder when everything is wrong.  If I believe in eternal life, what have I to fear? I don't fear death. I fear life. A lifetime feeling like this. I am so afraid it is never going to get better.  I am trying my hardest to trust, to believe the God is working things out for me, but it is not easy.

Not easy at all.

How am I meant to trust a God that allowed my son to die?

No, I don't know the answer either. But that's the point of faith, isn't it?


  1. we had this at our daughter's funeral. and In Christ alone. both now tear jerkers

  2. I don't fear my death, I fear the death of those I love more, I fear the feeling of being lonely, empty and depressed without them. All those things that used to be so much fun seem dull and meaningless without that special person. Maybe god is meant to be that special person too that lights up each day? Its just hard having an invisible friend sometimes. I think I needs more faith. The words of the song are thought provoking.