"I will praise the one who's chosen me, to carry you"
-Selah: I will carry you

Monday, 30 June 2014

I'm a Raggy Doll

The process of infertility treatment-that's what it is, a process- is exhausting. There is a lot of waiting, and that in itself is exhausting, when you are so desperate to move forwards. It's like a series of hoops to jump through, which you do, but the floor is a conveyor belt-and it's moving backwards. This means that every time you jump through a hoop, the floor moves back so that when you land, you are right back where you started. Exhausting, huh? You feel that despite doing so many things, making it through so many hoops, you aren't getting any further forwards on that conveyor.

You you daren't stop, oh no, if you stop, you'll move backwards with the conveyor belt and wind up falling into the reject bin. Or worse, The Pit. I'm perilously close to The Pit right now after yet another hoop cleared and I'm no better off. Almost three years since Bertie died and more than a year with the fertility clinic and I am honestly no closer to my goal of being a rainbow mummy.  It's devastating. I'm Sadsack.


  1. It's so hard to keep the faith when you're struggling with this. FX and prayers to you ((hugs))

  2. Hebrews 11:11 [NLT] ~ “It was by faith that even Sarah was able to have a child, though she was barren and was too old. She believed that God would keep his promise.”