"I will praise the one who's chosen me, to carry you"
-Selah: I will carry you

Friday, 16 November 2012

Over to you.....

The title explains it! This post is a space for the people who know me, to write about their feelings about Robert's death.  It can be anything really- how his loss has affected you, how you feel I have changed since it happened, how my relationship with you may have changed, what you have learned from my journey...anything you want, good or bad.

Anything you feel is on your heart to say, feel free. Email it to me and I will copy it here. I won't censor or edit anything anyone says, and will post things anonymously if you prefer.

I was a bit nervous about trying this, but a friend of mine is doing it and has encouraged me to give it a go....could be very interesting.


I am a recent friend of Sarah's. I can't comment on how Sarah has changed since the tragic loss of her son, but I can speak about how Sarah has helped me,and how much I value her.
I met Sarah on a grief forum, I didn't know who she was, I had only just lost my 3 ½ month old son. I stumbled over some poetry, it spoke to me, it touched my heart. The words in the poems were words that I could have written myself, and sometimes was writing myself. I messaged this mum and asked if I could share her poetry alongside my own on my journal. She agreed.
Since that day I learned more about this Mummy, who despite losing her son, has an ability to throw sense into a situation, and sometimes clarity into a really foggy day.
I feel over the last 7 months that I have come to know Sarah very well, and making a judgement I would assume that she has always been level headed, sensible thinking, have a positive outlook and a caring friend. Although at times I feel Sarah struggles to see this, she still is all of these things, and I am grateful for her.
I feel I have come to know her son, who I only recently saw a photograph of, and he touched my heart to the core, he is beautiful. It is heinous that in this day and age any mummy should be without her child. But much worse when that child is so wanted, so loved, and so missed.

Sarah has been a tower of support to me on days where I have fallen apart and see very little in my life that is worth living for. Sarah touches my heart and soul with her words that she writes, and because I am on a similar path as Sarah I feel that we are friends in life, not just in a computer world. I hope I offer Sarah the same level of friendship and compassion, as she always show to me and others.
Since our friendship started we have shared projects together, we together shared an idea to switch angels gifts with angel parents and family members at Christmas, we have read and commented on each others blogs, and understand that this is where we get a glimpse of each other's souls and what makes us who we are. We have laughed together, we have cried together, we have been angry together.

I am proud to have Sarah as my friend, I am proud that against every ache in her heart she keeps walking, and will keep walking until she finds her light,
I can't have more children naturally, but that doesn't mean I don't wish it for others, and if I am allowed to pass on my hope and dream of motherhood as a gift to another, then I would give this present to Sarah. Because she so deserves it. Sarah won't be a fantastic mother one day, she is a fantastic mother already.
Thank you for your friendship Sarah. I'd be lost without you.


When I first heard your sad news about Bertie, other than the sadness I thought that, knowing the strong, practical person you are, that you'd be someone who could get through this awful life experience. But every time I think that thought, I think how damn unfair it is - do you have to be a good person for the bad things to happen? Is that how life works? That the bad things are dealt to the ones that are strong enough to cope with them?
I also commend how brave you are sharing your journey on facebook and in your blog. Remotely, I'm walking this journey with you, along with many of your friends, I just hope its not too remote to help carry just a fraction of the heaviness you bear. I'm at the tantrum throwing phase for you at the moment, I just want to stamp my foot and shout "it's not fair" with my bottom lip stuck out.


Where to begin? well here goes.
Sarah it has been a pleasure to know you and Mark over the years right back to when you were at Bishop with Carolyn.
Then you and Mark attending our wedding and us being there with you sharing your day.
When you told us that you were expecting Robert we were both over the moon for you and Mark I thought that it could not have happened a nicer couple.
Then when we met up at Irchester country park with you,Mark and the family we had such wonderful time you looked well and the both of you were looking forward about becoming parents,then we went our separate ways.
Then one day after coming home from work we had the devestating telephone call saying that you and Robert were in hospital over the next few days you were in our prayers every day.Alice and William prayed for you everyday even at church when we had an open prayer Alice when to the front of church and asked them to pray for the three of you..
Then we had the devastating news about Robert,I don't cry that often but when I found out I did.
I would have love to have met Robert he would have been a credit to you and Mark and I look forward to meeting him in Heaven when I get there.
Sarah you are one of the strongest people I know you may not feel it but  please believe me you are.
I can never understand how you have felt over the last year but reading your blog has given me understanding into your
feelings,what you and Mark have had  to deal with is unfair,unjust and just wrong.
I am sorry if I have made you cry whilst reading this and I am proud to have you and Mark as good friends.

1 comment:

  1. Sarah has become one of my closest friends, I tell her my fears, sadness, hopes..she shares the same birthday as my beloved daughter, Yasemin and Bertie's birthay is one week after Yasemin.
    I hope we will share many many more years of friendship