"I will praise the one who's chosen me, to carry you"
-Selah: I will carry you

Friday, 20 September 2013

Feels like it was yesterday

I didn't expect to blog today. I didn't expect the immense pain I feel today. Two years since we said goodbye, and it feels like it was yesterday. It's hit me incredibly hard. I've been catapulted back once more into The Pit.  I am absolutely distraught. I can barely type through gut wrenching sobs. The grief wave is back and it's a tsunami. I'm not even reliving it- not like I did last year,

I just miss him, completely, with my whole self. 

I feel how I felt then, lost, empty, alone. Despite being surrounded by so much love, I feel absolutely alone.

Time is not healing, it's getting worse.


  1. Oh Sarah. There are no words....except I'm standing next to you giving you the biggest hug. Jo xx

  2. Thinking of Bertie and you this evening and how much you miss each other. Thank you for sharing your words and your honesty here. And your immense love for him.

  3. I would love to be part of your FB network, if you need someone who kinda knows what you're going through. (Julie Balagia Forman) I have met a wonderful community of Angel Moms online and it really helps to be able to post something and have so many women totally understand what I mean. My other friends are great, too, but there's definitely a disconnect b/c they can't truly sympathize w/ me. <3 from the U.S.