For any angel mums reading this, who are facing their first Christmas without their angel- what I will say is is is not as bad as last year. It does get "easier" to cope with it all. The mask fits a bit better now.
I'm even going to try and go to the carol service tonight. Not sure yet if I will cope with it or not- carols always make me emotional anyway, so it has the potential to be a disaster.....! But, I am trying this year to be as "normal" as possible. What is the alternative? Hide away every Christmas for the rest of my life? I can't do that, so instead, I will try to be thankful for what I do have, hold my son close in my heart, and just let it wash over me, as best I can.
I wrote this piece last year, but I still feel it just as much today as I did then.
A Christmas Wish
If I could wish upon a star
I’d wish to know that you’re not far
I’d want to feel your angel’s kiss
If I could have just that one wish
All I want this Christmas time
Is just to know that you’re still mine
Although in Heaven, not here with me
Forever my angel, you will be
I hope you can feel it-all my love
It’s sent to you, in Heaven above
I don’t need material things
It’s enough just to feel you, in all my dreams