7th Jan 2016
I can't believe I am actually thinking of Bertie as a big brother! It still feels so surreal, after all this time, that this has actually happened. I am starting to feel a little more confident. Seeing the word "pregnant" on the digital test yesterday was reassuring, as are the symptoms which are starting to appear- I actually feel pregnant now.
I was just wondering about how Bertie has reacted to the news in Heaven. I wonder if he knew before we did? I bet he is whooping for joy and showing off to the other angels that he's going to be a big brother at last. I wonder if he'd prefer a brother or sister? What would he be like? Protective? Jealous? Would he tease them? I bet he'd run around chasing a sister with worms!
It is strange to think that if all goes well, this baby will be arriving just as Bertie should be starting school. I hope it will make that particular milestone a little easier to pass anyway. I can imagine the picture of him, in his school uniform, holding his newborn sibling. The picture we'll never display on our mantelpiece. This pregnancy has brought thoughts of a whole new load of memories we won't get to make with our first born. But, I promise you Bertie....your little brother or sister will know all about you, right from the start. You will still be their big brother and I know you'll just be amazing at it.