I am starting to think booking this week off work was a mistake. I booked it off in anticipation of a negative result and a need to hide from the world for a while. Lovely as it has been to have this time to "chill and relax" (ha ha) it has also given me far too much time to think, Google, and inevitably, worry. I did not expect the anxiety to begin this soon!
"I'll feel alright until about 21 weeks" I thought. Pfft! No dice. So I have summoned a new mantra, to be repeated ad nauseum for as long as is necessary for me to believe it:
Right now, everything is ok.
I've never been any good at all that live in the present, mindfulness stuff. Regular readers will remember I gave it a good go in the depths of my grief, the problem then was I was so miserable in the present that I really did not want to stay there! Now, it's time to give it another try. Because projecting worries about the possible future really isn't going to help me, and will just rob the joy that I can potentially have from this pregnancy. So, I will keep my new mantra in mind, and accept that right now, I am pregnant, right now, Grub is fine, and right now, it's ok to be happy about that.
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It's a few hours later, and look what's happening!
It's even brighter than Monday's...and it's not too clear on the photo, but it's actually a double...!
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