"I will praise the one who's chosen me, to carry you"
-Selah: I will carry you

Saturday, 11 June 2016

The Chronicles of Bed Rest:Day 22


After my wobble on Wednesday I am pleased to say I have been feeling much brighter the last few days. I expect the roller coaster ups and downs will continue for some time to come and I'll just roll with it. 

So today is Saturday, and we're at 27+3. A whole week beyond Bertie's gestation! Isn't that something? I realised yesterday that we now have two milestones each week, Wednesday is the big one where I get to tick off another week, but Saturday is another week longer than last time. This is great as it breaks the week up and makes time go faster. As much as I said I wouldn't be comparing the two pregnancies any more, I will just say that I have really noticed a difference in Grub's strength this week compared to last, and consequently to Bertie's. Now I understand why they say every day in the womb is two less in SCBU. New this week I can feel rolls as well as jabs and kicks.  Last night I had either a head or a bum actually sticking out of my belly! I poked, naturally, and Grub moved hahaha, it's so cool! What is really lovely and a big silver lining to this enforced bed rest is that whilst I am not experiencing this pregnancy in the way I hoped or making the memories I wanted to, in a way I am experiencing it more. What I mean is, when Grub starts stretching and somersaulting, or sticking random appendages out in all directions, I get to stop what I am doing and just feel it all and appreciate how wonderful that moment is. I am so lucky

Yesterday Vicky my favourite midwife (the ward sister) was on duty, so I had a good chat with her about how my labour would be managed and what options I would have. So I now feel so much more prepared and so much less scared about it.  The main thing I needed to hear is that they would only put me to sleep as an absolute last resort when there really is no other option available.  If I'm asleep, the baby's asleep, and they don't want that.   I told her I am desperate not to miss the birth this time or to come round to find the baby's already in SCBU. She assured me that unless it would be detrimental to the baby's care (Ie they were critical) then as a minimum they would allow me to see them before they were taken away to SCBU. Essentially, the longer I can stay pregnant, the more normal my delivery will be. Wonderful! 

I've knitted up the next size of preemie hat, to fit babies born at 27-32 weeks. So now I need to do the cardigan to match the colours!

I have been asked a couple of times if I am excited yet. I can't honestly say that I am, because I know that we still have a long journey ahead of us no matter what. But, I have made a mental shift away from waiting for Grub to be born and die, to thinking in terms of them coming home, eventually.  I am even thinking about the logistics of choosing a pram system whilst I am on bed rest! If I get to 30 weeks, then perhaps I will start to feel a little excited. And if I get discharged still pregnant 32 weeks, then there'll be a big celebration!

27+3! I think I just might make 30!!

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